My son caught me crying the other day.
Actually, our whole family was sitting on the couch Saturday morning just finishing breakfast and a song came on that has really meant a lot to me over the years and tears started to run down my cheeks. My husband knew exactly what was going on and started cracking up (mostly b/c he knew how hard I was trying to keep it together and was confident it was only a matter of time.) When Isaac heard his dad laughing, he looked over to me and saw I was crying. "Why are you crying, mom?" I explained that sometimes people cry because they are hurt or sad, but sometimes people cry because they are happy or really moved by something. I assured him that these were happy tears.
Well, today he caught my emotion again, only this time it wasn't happy tears... and he knew it. I tried to play it off, but he wasn't convinced. I had just read something that made me feel like a failure, and although I would like to blame the pregnancy hormones, I truly felt thrown under the bus and completely misunderstood. It's fine... I'll get over it, but I was worried that this flood of emotion would upset and confuse my little man. I mean, I'm supposed to be the one wiping his tears and telling him everything is going to be fine, and here I am in a heap, dealing with a lot of insecurity and personal frustration.
I am in the middle of a audio series by Dr. Dobson that talks about raising kids and the type of parents we should strive to be. One of his main points was to allow our kids to see some of our reality, in bite-size ways, so that they can see how to handle situations appropriately and not just become delusional about how "easy" life is. I felt like this might be a good time to put this into practice. I explained to him that mommy got her feelings hurt, but that ultimately I wanted to grow in God and become a better person, so I listen to what people have to say, even when it's difficult, so that I can always challenge myself to grow. I then used an example of how sometimes I say things to him that he doesn't like to hear in order to help him be a better boy.
I think he got it.
Well, enough to hug me and tell me that he loves me
...and that I don't need to worry about other people helping me grow because the baby is making me grow bigger every day.
UGH- just the kick I needed while I was still down.
Anyways, it was a learning lesson for both of us today,
and ultimately I'm grateful.
Well, today he caught my emotion again, only this time it wasn't happy tears... and he knew it. I tried to play it off, but he wasn't convinced. I had just read something that made me feel like a failure, and although I would like to blame the pregnancy hormones, I truly felt thrown under the bus and completely misunderstood. It's fine... I'll get over it, but I was worried that this flood of emotion would upset and confuse my little man. I mean, I'm supposed to be the one wiping his tears and telling him everything is going to be fine, and here I am in a heap, dealing with a lot of insecurity and personal frustration.
I am in the middle of a audio series by Dr. Dobson that talks about raising kids and the type of parents we should strive to be. One of his main points was to allow our kids to see some of our reality, in bite-size ways, so that they can see how to handle situations appropriately and not just become delusional about how "easy" life is. I felt like this might be a good time to put this into practice. I explained to him that mommy got her feelings hurt, but that ultimately I wanted to grow in God and become a better person, so I listen to what people have to say, even when it's difficult, so that I can always challenge myself to grow. I then used an example of how sometimes I say things to him that he doesn't like to hear in order to help him be a better boy.I think he got it.
Well, enough to hug me and tell me that he loves me
...and that I don't need to worry about other people helping me grow because the baby is making me grow bigger every day.
UGH- just the kick I needed while I was still down.
Anyways, it was a learning lesson for both of us today,
and ultimately I'm grateful.
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