how old do you have to be to have it all together?

I'm 34 years old.

I have been at my job for over 12 years, been married for almost the same amount of time and have birthed and cared for 4 little humans for over 7 years.

So how is it possible that I can still find myself huddled in a corner in my office with a box of tissue, nursing a hurt feeling?

I thought by now I would have this insecurity in check and would be able to see things for what they really are. I figured I would finally get to a point where I wouldn't jump into emotional distress when someone's opinion of me doesn't live up to who I really strive to be. I counted on the fact that advancement in age would catapult me into a rock solid mental state that would take a natural disaster to break through.

I was wrong.

The reality is that I still have the same struggles I had when I first realized people weren't perfect... that I wasn't perfect.

So what has changed?

I can see more clearly quicker.

I can trust the God who has sat here with me through many boxes of Kleenex and has loved me through my hurt, my insecurities, and even my self-pity. I'm able to pick myself up faster and grab the truth of God's Word, trusting that what God says about me is more important and more vital than anything man has to say about me. I can dry the tears a little more briskly, holding on to hope, to love and to destiny.

So where are you today?

Do you need a reminder of what God says so that you can drown out the words of the world?

Me too.

 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a CHOSEN people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people BELONGING to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who CALLED you out of darkness in to his wonderful light.

Psalm 138:8

The Lord will fulfill his PURPOSE for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.

Romans 8:14-15

Those who are led by the Spirit of God are SONS of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of SONSHIP. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

2 Corinthians 1:21-22

Now it is God who makes both us and you STAND FIRM in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of OWNERSHIP on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a DEPOSIT, guaranteeing what is to come.

So now I'm smiling.

Now I'm hoping.

Now I'm trusting.

I'll probably get my feelings hurt again soon, but I know that God is with me on the ride. He doesn't just want to "put me in my place", or "tell me how it is", or make judgements about me. He wants to change me, lead me, deposit into me.... and that's why I trust what He has to say more than anyone else. His thoughts are good towards me, and any harsh reality He brings into my life is to draw me closer to Him, not push me away. What a good God!

The Bunks Summer REACH 2013... Session 1

Each summer we make a list of things we want to do  to REACH out to the people around us. Here are some of our 1st adventures for our summer of 2013:

Donate Coloring Books & Crayons to the Local Children's Hospital

Last year we brought fun band-aids, and it made such an impression on the staff there, that we decided to do something again. This time we chose to bring coloring books and crayons for the children's surgery waiting room. We also got to visit with the therapy dogs while we were there.

 Leave a Special Package for the Mail-Carrier

We left a special treat and thank you note for our Mailman Dave. He even left us a note to thank us for thinking of him.

Bring a Candy Basket to the School Office Ladies
who have to work during the Summer Months.

This one was so much fun because the school was pretty much empty. The ladies LOVED being thought of after school was over and couldn't wait to dig into the special treats we brought them.

Zoey's Preschool Graduation

....and 1st grade is a wrap!

just passing the time before the bus brings Isaac home.

to the most important men in my life...

To my husband,

It would take hours upon hours, page upon page, to explain to the world what kind of man you are and daily purpose to be... A man of integrity, a man of honor, a man who is selfless, caring and generous at any cost. I believe that out of all the amazing character traits that you possess, the effort and love you put into fatherhood is the rarest. The way you take time to pour into our children the love of God all throughout the day in various ways... the hours you put into watching them, listening to them, laughing with them, praying with them... the adoring looks and affection you give your daughter as she learns to be a little lady... the chest pats, pool throws and playful body slams you give the boys as they grow up into mighty men... the opportunities you seize to teach, train and guide our kids, even at the most inconvenient of times... the conversations you have with Isaac at bedtime, the snuggles you give Zoey after work, the wrestling matches you have with Elijah on the floor of the kitchen after dinner and the way you Jacob laugh together all day long... ALL OF IT proves that God has given you this mandate for a very specific reason:

To show them the love of the only Father greater than you. (1 John 3:1)

I love you, Chris Bunk, and am humbled by the fact the Lord chose me to serve our kids beside you.... and incredible mission beside an incredible man.

To my dad,

 I am blessed beyond measure to be placed under your care for my entire life. I'm confident that when the Lord was creating me, he also had in the mind the balance I would need to fulfill His will and then strategically and lovingly gave me to you. You have exemplified who God is to me my entire existence, and I am in constant awe of the sacrifices and selflessness you have chosen without merit so that I could walk the journey God set before me with joy. Thank you. Thank you for being there through the achievements, through the failures, through the questions, through the doubts, through the laughs, through the tears, through the pain, through the blessings, through the storms, through the valleys... and throughout my 34 years of life, always speaking life and truth, no matter the cost. I love you, dad, more than I could ever express.

To my other dad,

You are the man who raised, shaped and formed the father of my children... and I will be forever indebted to you for that. I see the incredible traits Chris possesses... hard work, perseverance, hunger for knowledge, integrity, generosity, steadfastness and strength... and I can't help but see a reflection of you. You raised a man who loves God, adores his wife and prioritizes his children- you couldn't have given the world any better gift. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Thank you for giving to us without hesitation. Thank you for being our rock, our steady-hand and our biggest fan. You have not only raised Chris, but you have watched me grow as well, and I am a better person for having you in my life. We love you more than you will ever know.

ramblings: i couldn't impress you if i tried.

My life doesn't look the way I want it to.

I love my life.

I wouldn't trade what I have for the riches of the world.

I still wish my white kitchen cabinets didn't always have dirty baby hand-prints on them all the time.

I've come to grips that being grateful and humbled by the blessings of God in your life, doesn't mean that you won't be embarrassed when one of your life-group kids comes over and opens your bedroom door.... right after you threatened your kids not to let ANYONE in there. Life isn't perfect.... especially with 4 crazies running around it all the time.

I was with a group of some of my favorite people this week talking about BEING REAL. I even had someone thank me for allowing people to see the real me. I smiled, but inside I was screaming "I don't allow it! It's forced upon me against my will!" I would hide the realness every day of the week if I had the ability... and my attempts to shove everything in the office and lock the door to keep out visitors is proof that I don't want my realness to show.

The fact is, I don't choose to be real, I don't have a choice. If you stop by my house, realness is going to flood you like a waterfall, whether you ask for it or not. I can't hide it. This realness doesn't fit into the laundry room or the hall closet... no matter how many times I try to stuff it in there.

BUT... there is a freedom in realness.

A freedom knowing it's all out there.

The good, the bad... and the urine-stenched kids bathroom that never smells clean.

So here's to realness.

To being authentic and genuine.

Whether you've chosen it or not.

“Our cornerstone is Christ alone
And strong in Him we stand
So let us live transparently
And walk, heart to heart and hand in hand.”

 1976 hymn, “We Are God’s People,” by Bryan Jeffrey Leach

His 1st Grade Journal

I loved when Isaac came home last year from Kindergarten with a journal he had written in all year round... so when he brought one home from 1st grade, I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. What an amazing way to chronicle his year, and also see what was going on in that cute head of his! Here are a couple of the entries.

Teddy Bear Clinic

The High School down the street from church hosts a "Teddy Bear Clinic" each year. The kids get to bring their favorite stuffed animals and the medical students take them around to each station and help them make sure they are healthy. It is the cutest field trip and I LOVE it! Zoey had a blast.

WIPEOUT

 Tonight we started our Summer RAGE series in Legacy and the theme is "WIPEOUT." Our youth leaders set up a WIPEOUT course and the youth all went thru it. After it was over, some of the youth leader kids were able to come over and do the course as well. I was so proud of our little man... he did a great job!

These are the things I remember about being a Pastor's kid... we may have always had to come early and stay late, but we also got to be involved in some pretty fun stuff. Hope my kids feel the same way!

 Yes, that's his daddy trying to knock him off.

no son, you will not tumble to your demise during this diaper change.

This is our #3.

He is 2.5 yrs old and in the last month has started to really form opinions, thoughts and ideas. It's fun to watch him be imaginative, inquisitive and curious, discovering new things in life and being excited for each one.

I've noticed over the past few weeks he has had some hesitations. For example, I have a counter that is attached to our living room and kitchen where I have a diaper changing station. This saves me a lot of time not having to run up and down the stairs each time. Elijah has now become nervous to be up there while I am changing his diaper. He gets a little panicked and continually reminds me in an anxious voice that he is "going to fall!"

This morning as I was calling him over to change him, I saw him start to be nervous. I went over to him and explained that I loved him very much and I would never let him fall. I also told him that he can trust me to know that I would never let him get hurt up there. He nodded, smiled and seemed to understand.

I picked him up and put him on the counter to change him. He was a little cautious, but as I kept saying "I won't let you fall," he kept repeatedly saying to me in a shaky little voice, "I trust you, mom. I trust you, mom." It was the most precious thing I have encountered in a long time.

 As I came in the office to blog journal this moment, it hit me.... this was a living illustration from God to me. I can trust Him. He will never let me fall. It doesn't mean each time He "puts me on the counter" I won't feel nervous, but I can trust in the fact that He loves me enough to keep me from tumbling over the edge. It was a perfect reminder for a week that has had me ON EDGE.

Well played, God... well played.