Friday, June 21, 2013

how old do you have to be to have it all together?

I'm 34 years old.
I have been at my job for over 12 years, been married for almost the same amount of time and have birthed and cared for 4 little humans for over 7 years.

So how is it possible that I can still find myself huddled in a corner in my office with a box of tissue, nursing a hurt feeling?

I thought by now I would have this insecurity in check and would be able to see things for what they really are. I figured I would finally get to a point where I wouldn't jump into emotional distress when someone's opinion of me doesn't live up to who I really strive to be. I counted on the fact that advancement in age would catapult me into a rock solid mental state that would take a natural disaster to break through.

I was wrong.

The reality is that I still have the same struggles I had when I first realized people weren't perfect... that I wasn't perfect.

So what has changed?

I can see more clearly quicker.
I can trust the God who has sat here with me through many boxes of Kleenex and has loved me through my hurt, my insecurities, and even my self-pity. I'm able to pick myself up faster and grab the truth of God's Word, trusting that what God says about me is more important and more vital than anything man has to say about me. I can dry the tears a little more briskly, holding on to hope, to love and to destiny.

So where are you today?
Do you need a reminder of what God says so that you can drown out the words of the world?
Me too.

 1 Peter 2:9
But you are a CHOSEN people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people BELONGING to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who CALLED you out of darkness in to his wonderful light.

Psalm 138:8
The Lord will fulfill his PURPOSE for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.

Romans 8:14-15
Those who are led by the Spirit of God are SONS of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of SONSHIP. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

2 Corinthians 1:21-22
Now it is God who makes both us and you STAND FIRM in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of OWNERSHIP on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a DEPOSIT, guaranteeing what is to come.

So now I'm smiling.
Now I'm hoping.
Now I'm trusting.
I'll probably get my feelings hurt again soon, but I know that God is with me on the ride. He doesn't just want to "put me in my place", or "tell me how it is", or make judgements about me. He wants to change me, lead me, deposit into me.... and that's why I trust what He has to say more than anyone else. His thoughts are good towards me, and any harsh reality He brings into my life is to draw me closer to Him, not push me away. What a good God!

1 comment:

denise said...

I really really wish we could catch a lunch and hang out!

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