1st born.

i'm not significant.

I've always struggled with this "significance" issue.

I frequently ask the questions, "Is what I am doing right now making any significance in the Kingdom of God? Am I, Lori, significant in the Kingdom of God, or could anyone do what I am doing, and do it much better?"

I have been stuck in the book of Isaiah for months.

I can't peel my eyes and heart away.

It has spoke to me in ways lately that have been life-saving.

This week I read Isaiah 49, with an emphasis on verse 6.

"Is it too small a thing for you to be my servant..."

 Wow.

Is serving God in any capacity, not significant in itself?

When you are a true servant, isn't your movement and posture of one to make your master more significant?

Just my daily re-focus from God that I wanted to pass along.

that's not typically how it works

when he grows up...

Isaac: My teacher at church tonight asked me what I want to be when I grow up.

Me: What did you say?

Isaac: First I would want to be a hockey player, then a soccer player and then a Lego builder.... but I did tell him that if Jesus didn't want me to be any of those things, then I would do what He wanted me to do...........Mom, why are you looking at me like that? Are you crying?

as my Nonne would say, "arrivederci"

3 things broke this week that were very important to me.

1.) A vase that I gave my grandmother while I was in college. When she became sick, she wrote on the bottom that it should find it's way back to me once she passed away. I heard a crash and ran downstairs to find it in a million little pieces.

2.) An antique glass measuring tablespoon that my grandma had also given to me. It was my grandpas. I'm not sure what he used it for, but it was beautiful and you could tell it was very old. I turned on the garbage disposal to hear broken glass banging around inside. When I stopped and started to pull it out, the rare shade of golden yellow glass immediately sunk my heart.

3.) An old picture of my grandparents. I found it soaking wet inside the frame. (I know we have this picture scanned and will very easily be able to replace it, but the symbolizm of it being destroyed along with the other things my grandparents gave me made me burst out in emotion.)

I'm not a material girl, by any means.

In fact, I care very little about things to the point that it can frustrate my husband and sometimes look careless to others. I've just never had a huge attachment to anything... expensive or cheap. For the most part, I can purge things with ease and give things away without giving it a second thought. There are, however, things I have that remind me of special people... and people I do care about. Nothing this week was destroyed on purpose. I have 2 boys under the age of 3 that are extremely curious and can climb anything... I am starting to get used to letting things go. These particular things were hard to swallow because for at least 2 of them, I will never be able to get them back... which in turn reminds me that I will never be able to get the people back that gave them to me. It's sobering.. but the reality is that these things don't help or hurt the amount of loss I feel when I think about my grandparents. They are just things that remind me of them. So, as I am collecting myself and debriefing myself on this tragedy with my entry to this blog, please be reminded to hug a little longer today... be a little more patient with the people God has graciously place in your life.... hold on to the conversations and laughs you have with your kids, your spouse, and your family... give thanks to God today for allowing you to make moments into memories, even when sometimes those memories turn into tears.

Selah.

The Wonder Dare.

he's just brave.

Ok, so I know the videos of Jake in the pool are starting to get obnoxious, but I still cannot believe that my 1-yr-old is so fearless. By the time I got my camera, he had already done this over a dozen times and kept telling Chris "again! again!" He is unstoppable!

and in all things... session 46

Things I am thankful for on Friday, July 26th, 2013...

1. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
2. LUNA bars- especially Chocolate Dipped Coconut
3. My new portable phone charger (thank you Chris! I think he got tired of my dead phone)
4. My security in God... on days when I have none in myself
5. Bravery
6. Family time in the pool after work
7. Dinner on the outdoor grill
8. Hope
9. Various "just thinking about you" gift cards
10. Back to School Supply shopping... my favorite!!!

"Don't wait up... we will probably be pretty late."

I don't know who was more excited... Zoey or Chris... but tonight was her "daddy date" that she chose for her points. {We have a point system where the kids can do work around the house,beyond their everyday chores, to earn something they want badly}. She had the night all mapped out and was showered, pampered and prepped by noon. I kept telling her daddy wouldn't get home till 6pm, but she still spent 1/2 the day looking out the front window. They are now off on their date and I was told not to wait up.

our lil fishies

To my village....

As parents with 4 young kids we really shouldn't be able to stop our lives, hand over our kids to others and minister for a week at Champions For Life Kids Camp. To be honest, the most humbling part of camp was when we had people look at us all week and say "who took all your kids?"

Well the answer is simple: our kids were taken in by some of the people that love us and love them the most. People that were even more sacrificial than we were... and our hearts are oozing with gratitude. We literally couldn't have done it without you. You not only allowed us the privilege of pouring our lives into foster children who haven't always had families, but you poured unconditional love into our kids for an entire week... we can never thank you enough.

Whenever I hear the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child," I always think "...and I have the best village of all."

Much love to Dad & Mom for taking Isaac and Elijah.... to Matt & Nina and Keri (whose husband was with us at camp) for taking Zoey... and to Nate & April for taking Jacob.

We love you!!!

10,000 reasons.

We've been singing this song all weekend.

It has put a lot of things into perspective.

I caught Zoey singing this and tried to discreetly record her on my phone from the couch. It's moments like this I could name 10,000 reasons off the top of my head.

Reminding ourselves that the adventure is in the vision of the mission.

the brave and adventurous one... the cautious and steady one.

Both of our babies have different personalities.

Elijah is a little more cautious than the rest of our kids, which helps him be the steady and tenacious one. He is the one who is always looking out for everyone else and is concerned if someone isn't around.

Jacob, on the other hand, is our adventurous one. He is daring, fast, and fearless... and the only predictable thing about him is that he will be unpredictable. Today he jumped off the diving board. It took our older kids years to do that. Lord, give us strength....

how old do you have to be to have it all together?

I'm 34 years old.

I have been at my job for over 12 years, been married for almost the same amount of time and have birthed and cared for 4 little humans for over 7 years.

So how is it possible that I can still find myself huddled in a corner in my office with a box of tissue, nursing a hurt feeling?

I thought by now I would have this insecurity in check and would be able to see things for what they really are. I figured I would finally get to a point where I wouldn't jump into emotional distress when someone's opinion of me doesn't live up to who I really strive to be. I counted on the fact that advancement in age would catapult me into a rock solid mental state that would take a natural disaster to break through.

I was wrong.

The reality is that I still have the same struggles I had when I first realized people weren't perfect... that I wasn't perfect.

So what has changed?

I can see more clearly quicker.

I can trust the God who has sat here with me through many boxes of Kleenex and has loved me through my hurt, my insecurities, and even my self-pity. I'm able to pick myself up faster and grab the truth of God's Word, trusting that what God says about me is more important and more vital than anything man has to say about me. I can dry the tears a little more briskly, holding on to hope, to love and to destiny.

So where are you today?

Do you need a reminder of what God says so that you can drown out the words of the world?

Me too.

 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a CHOSEN people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people BELONGING to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who CALLED you out of darkness in to his wonderful light.

Psalm 138:8

The Lord will fulfill his PURPOSE for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.

Romans 8:14-15

Those who are led by the Spirit of God are SONS of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of SONSHIP. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

2 Corinthians 1:21-22

Now it is God who makes both us and you STAND FIRM in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of OWNERSHIP on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a DEPOSIT, guaranteeing what is to come.

So now I'm smiling.

Now I'm hoping.

Now I'm trusting.

I'll probably get my feelings hurt again soon, but I know that God is with me on the ride. He doesn't just want to "put me in my place", or "tell me how it is", or make judgements about me. He wants to change me, lead me, deposit into me.... and that's why I trust what He has to say more than anyone else. His thoughts are good towards me, and any harsh reality He brings into my life is to draw me closer to Him, not push me away. What a good God!

The Bunks Summer REACH 2013... Session 1

Each summer we make a list of things we want to do  to REACH out to the people around us. Here are some of our 1st adventures for our summer of 2013:

Donate Coloring Books & Crayons to the Local Children's Hospital

Last year we brought fun band-aids, and it made such an impression on the staff there, that we decided to do something again. This time we chose to bring coloring books and crayons for the children's surgery waiting room. We also got to visit with the therapy dogs while we were there.

 Leave a Special Package for the Mail-Carrier

We left a special treat and thank you note for our Mailman Dave. He even left us a note to thank us for thinking of him.

Bring a Candy Basket to the School Office Ladies
who have to work during the Summer Months.

This one was so much fun because the school was pretty much empty. The ladies LOVED being thought of after school was over and couldn't wait to dig into the special treats we brought them.

Zoey's Preschool Graduation

....and 1st grade is a wrap!

just passing the time before the bus brings Isaac home.

to the most important men in my life...

To my husband,

It would take hours upon hours, page upon page, to explain to the world what kind of man you are and daily purpose to be... A man of integrity, a man of honor, a man who is selfless, caring and generous at any cost. I believe that out of all the amazing character traits that you possess, the effort and love you put into fatherhood is the rarest. The way you take time to pour into our children the love of God all throughout the day in various ways... the hours you put into watching them, listening to them, laughing with them, praying with them... the adoring looks and affection you give your daughter as she learns to be a little lady... the chest pats, pool throws and playful body slams you give the boys as they grow up into mighty men... the opportunities you seize to teach, train and guide our kids, even at the most inconvenient of times... the conversations you have with Isaac at bedtime, the snuggles you give Zoey after work, the wrestling matches you have with Elijah on the floor of the kitchen after dinner and the way you Jacob laugh together all day long... ALL OF IT proves that God has given you this mandate for a very specific reason:

To show them the love of the only Father greater than you. (1 John 3:1)

I love you, Chris Bunk, and am humbled by the fact the Lord chose me to serve our kids beside you.... and incredible mission beside an incredible man.

To my dad,

 I am blessed beyond measure to be placed under your care for my entire life. I'm confident that when the Lord was creating me, he also had in the mind the balance I would need to fulfill His will and then strategically and lovingly gave me to you. You have exemplified who God is to me my entire existence, and I am in constant awe of the sacrifices and selflessness you have chosen without merit so that I could walk the journey God set before me with joy. Thank you. Thank you for being there through the achievements, through the failures, through the questions, through the doubts, through the laughs, through the tears, through the pain, through the blessings, through the storms, through the valleys... and throughout my 34 years of life, always speaking life and truth, no matter the cost. I love you, dad, more than I could ever express.

To my other dad,

You are the man who raised, shaped and formed the father of my children... and I will be forever indebted to you for that. I see the incredible traits Chris possesses... hard work, perseverance, hunger for knowledge, integrity, generosity, steadfastness and strength... and I can't help but see a reflection of you. You raised a man who loves God, adores his wife and prioritizes his children- you couldn't have given the world any better gift. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Thank you for giving to us without hesitation. Thank you for being our rock, our steady-hand and our biggest fan. You have not only raised Chris, but you have watched me grow as well, and I am a better person for having you in my life. We love you more than you will ever know.

ramblings: i couldn't impress you if i tried.

My life doesn't look the way I want it to.

I love my life.

I wouldn't trade what I have for the riches of the world.

I still wish my white kitchen cabinets didn't always have dirty baby hand-prints on them all the time.

I've come to grips that being grateful and humbled by the blessings of God in your life, doesn't mean that you won't be embarrassed when one of your life-group kids comes over and opens your bedroom door.... right after you threatened your kids not to let ANYONE in there. Life isn't perfect.... especially with 4 crazies running around it all the time.

I was with a group of some of my favorite people this week talking about BEING REAL. I even had someone thank me for allowing people to see the real me. I smiled, but inside I was screaming "I don't allow it! It's forced upon me against my will!" I would hide the realness every day of the week if I had the ability... and my attempts to shove everything in the office and lock the door to keep out visitors is proof that I don't want my realness to show.

The fact is, I don't choose to be real, I don't have a choice. If you stop by my house, realness is going to flood you like a waterfall, whether you ask for it or not. I can't hide it. This realness doesn't fit into the laundry room or the hall closet... no matter how many times I try to stuff it in there.

BUT... there is a freedom in realness.

A freedom knowing it's all out there.

The good, the bad... and the urine-stenched kids bathroom that never smells clean.

So here's to realness.

To being authentic and genuine.

Whether you've chosen it or not.

“Our cornerstone is Christ alone
And strong in Him we stand
So let us live transparently
And walk, heart to heart and hand in hand.”

 1976 hymn, “We Are God’s People,” by Bryan Jeffrey Leach

His 1st Grade Journal

I loved when Isaac came home last year from Kindergarten with a journal he had written in all year round... so when he brought one home from 1st grade, I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. What an amazing way to chronicle his year, and also see what was going on in that cute head of his! Here are a couple of the entries.