I think pregnancy is a breeding ground for insecurity.
Other than looking different, in the natural nothing has changed: my kids have bad days and good days, there is always work to be done at church, I always need something from the grocery store, and God is still on the throne... but sometimes, for some reason (usually when pregnant), things get overwhelming and I feel like I am dropping all the balls. Am I doing enough? Am I even a "fun" mom anymore? Does God still see me? Does anyone care? Am I a nightmare to be around? Am I alone?
I know the answers to all of these questions.... well, most of them.... but I still deal with them, more so on physically challenging days. This morning as I was getting ready to throw myself a pity party, I thought of my mom- mostly because I miss her (she is overseas). Growing up, I never saw my mom deal with insecurities. I know now over tear filled lunches at Panera (my tears, not hers) that she dealt with them, but she always resorted to the truth. By truth, I mean that God is in control, that we only need to worry about what He thinks and He gives us the strength to be all that we are required to be.
So, my conclusion for today is that no matter how I feel... THE TRUTH STILL REMAINS. My insecurities don't change God... He is the same yesterday, today and forever (which is good to know, because I am NOT the same... especially with these extra hormones). Thanks mom for always reminding me that our emotions change, but truth does not.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.