K's Dance Recital

J-

She did so good tonight.

Smiled through the entire recital.

She is beautiful.

-L

J

J-
Normally I would text this to you.

I don't know how many of these we have sent each other.

Definitely over a dozen times a school year.

They love their friendship...and they always loved to write about it.

It always brought a smile to our face.
I wish there was a way I could see you too, my beautiful friend!

-L

J

J-

This girl looks like you.

Smiles like you.

Makes me laugh like you used to.

She is beautiful, gutsy, confident and always aware. And every time she jumps in my arms to have me carry her like a baby, I cry like a baby on the inside. She lets me love her... I don't know if it's for her benefit or if she's just kind enough to allow me for mine. One thing is for sure... this girl is surrounded by love.

But she sure misses you.

-L

J

J-

I have a file on my computer where I save all the pictures I find of you.. pictures that pop up at very unexpected times. I found this one recently and it made me laugh. This particular night, you and Chris were relentless with each other. This was the moment he started teasing you about being "that mom." We laughed until we had tears running down our face, and we referred back to this moment many times. We were always so grateful for husbands that didn't let us baby our boys.... and if Andy wasn't around, you would always ask Chris, "am I being 'that mom?'"

I got to meet with someone today and just talk about you. It was very refreshing for me.. and I got to share some things that were important for me to speak out loud. I miss you so much. I miss the way we would laugh hysterically when something wasn't going the way we envisioned (which seemed to be frequent)... I miss the way you would pray for me in the hall with the most perfect words... I miss the times our hearts were united in compassion for those who seemed lost and overwhelmed... and I miss the way you would always encourage my soul. I could use a lot of that right about now.

This week has been particularly rough for me because there are so many new things going on in my heart... and you used to be only a phone call away. You always understood vision without having to hear much about it... finishing my sentences when it came to missional-living. I miss your kindred-spirit. I miss you.

-L

J

J- Its so hard to see your name on papers on my desk...it will be harder when I don't.

"My soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Your Word." Psalm 119:28

J

J- We didn't have balloons on Sunday... and we didn't have you.

J

J-
One year ago today we sat side by side with our coffees on a cold Monday night.... dreaming, brainstorming and laughing at the Orange Tour. Tonight I feel your absence. I miss your face. I desperately wish you were here.
-L

J

J-
My daughter told me yesterday that she finally decided that her favorite animal was a deer. I told her I had something to show her and brought out the canvas picture of a deer you gave me last year. You had heard me talk about reading Psalm 42:1 to my kids before school and a family of deer showed up in front of our house. You gave this to me as a reminder of Gods faithfulness to reveal Himself to our children...a conversation we had over coffee a few weeks prior. I told Z the picture was from you...she hugged it really tight and said "that makes it even more special." We really miss you.
-L

J

J-

I have some really awesome new kids music. I have probably grabbed my phone over a dozen times to call you about them. You would LOVE these songs, Ms. Resource Queen! Today as I driving your kids to Summer Camp, I had one of my favorite songs on. I heard a cute little voice from the back say "Oh, I like this, what song is this?" I loved that I was able to tell little Jaimie Jr. about all my new finds. She was so interested. Then all the kids began dancing and singing "This is the day You've made, I'll rejoice and be glad in You." Even Zachary was putting his hands up in the air and yelling "I will praise" over and over for the entire last 5 minutes of the car ride. It was just what I needed today. Your beautiful kids reminding me that God is still worthy of praise... today.

-L

J

J-

At the beginning of April we were all up at the church setting up for our annual FM breakfast. Some of us brought our girls and for some reason both of our daughters were having a rough night. We were both getting frustrated and apologizing to each other for the way each of ours were acting, and trying desperately to get them to respond the way we felt was right. Right before we were getting ready to leave, you called me out in the hallway to share something with me that was going on inside of you. You told me that God was impressing on your heart that our daughters are just people like us, in need of unconditional love, and that sometimes their sass was just a cry for a personal touch... from God.... from us. You set forth the challenge: every time we feel like our girls weren't acting right, instead of getting upset, hug them... love them. I did that- the change was amazing. You were right... sometimes they just need love. I just want you to know that I have been doing that with Z even more lately. I'm not sure if she is the one in need of love...or if it's me... but it brings healing. I have been doing the same with K... randomly giving her hugs when I can tell she is having a rough day... the hugs might not be as good as yours were, but they are with unconditional love. Thank you for changing my perspective. Thank you for changing my life.

-L