The Mirror

When I was pregnant with Zoey I painted this mirror to match her bedroom. She never knew, but I penciled in Psalm 139:14,17 before I painted it, praying it over her life- that she would always know that Gods thoughts toward her are "precious" & that she is "wonderfully" made- even when the world lies to her that she isnt.

Well this Christmas she said she had a special gift she wanted to give to me. It was the mirror. She said that she wanted me to look in it each day to see something beautiful. 

God uses the things we speak over our kids to speak back to us. Make sure you are listening just as intently as you desire them to.

What if...?

So...with 4 kids...3 of them boys...I find about 500 paper airplanes all over the house each day. After picking up the 6th one off the floor this afternoon, I felt the need to let the boys know that they needed to stop wasting so much paper and making a mess... until I had the thought, "What if this is the last paper airplane they make?"

my heart.

speaking to my heart this mother's day....

"This parenting gig is all about making us more like Christ. Every nose I wipe and every midnight puke-fest refines me a little more. And as He makes me more like Him, I learn to want what He wants–for myself and for my children. I am learning to want holiness for my babies over their safety or sleeping through the night. All my worries and fears as a mom fade in the face of my desire for my kids to love Jesus: To know how selfless and good He is, how much better at loving their every breath He is than their weak mama.

 

What a gift to be able to trust God that much, with my most precious loves, because I know He loves them so much better than I do!"

-Lora Lynn Fanning

just a day.

It was just a Monday.

We headed to George George Park for a picnic and to get out some energy.

We go to this park all the time.

It's nothing new... except that my heart was sensitive and my eyes were open.

I love my kids.

I love hanging out with them.

I love watching them explore.... discover... and enjoy life.

 I wish I could remember this feeling when they dump cheerios all over the floor.

St. Augustine

Ever since we went to the city of St. Augustine this past vacation to Florida, I have been doing a lot of research and study on Augustine of Hippo, the saint for which the city is named. It's such an interesting study... which most studies of saints are... but I can't get away from some of the incredibly insightful quotes he is known for. Trust me, there are a lot of them. Right now I have 4 pages in my journal full of them. This one in particular struck me today. I'm not sure what "little ones" he was referring to, but the ones I am beginning with today just poured cereal all over the kitchen floor.

#reallife

 This was an hour after I had cleaned the house top to bottom.
I give up.

one of those nights.

Tonight was just one of those nights.

They always seem to fall on the times that Chris has to work late... go figure.

I won't run thru the list of mishaps, but I had HAD it.

I kind-of lost my cool.

I had to find it quickly.

I called a Family Team Meeting after the teeth were brushed and the baths were done. They all jumped in my bed, hesitant to see what they were in trouble for. I shared with them how I felt we were falling short of our potential as a family and that we could be hindering what God wants to do through us by the way we were treating each other. I paused to see if they were getting any of this, when my oldest raised his hand to say something. He asked if he could pray for our family so that we would always please God. He got it.

The prayer was sincere.... focused... incredible.

He told everything to God that was in my heart, but said it much better than I ever could... and I know God heard each word.

The others followed suit.... much more literal.... just as sincere.

 I knew God was showing me something.

Something I keep forgetting.

 God uses their faith to strengthen mine and their love to challenge mine.

Seems like God always uses those nights to be THOSE nights.

my very trendy letter to my daughter...

Dear Zoey....
I have been reading a lot of letters to young girls lately. They are everywhere.... pinterest, facebook, blogs, etc... and it started my heart and brain on a journey to decide what I would want to say to you. Don't get me wrong, a lot of these letters are inspiring and very forthcoming, but what I have to say to you was birthed 20 years ago when I was a "Christian" teenager. I knew early on that I was set apart. I guess that's just a fancy way to say that you aren't going to be able to do things the way others do them. I was always ok with that. I never had a problem standing out. The problem creeped in when people started to explain to me why I needed to stand out. It started to become very confusing. I am so grateful that my parents stepped in and made things very clear... and I hope to do that for you, as well.

Here is the one thing I want you to know: You exist to give glory to God. Everything you do, say and choose should be birthed from that knowledge.

Please don't dress modestly to "not turn guys on" or to be "the kind of lady a good guy would want to marry." Dress modestly because you desire to honor God. You see, I dressed modestly and still had guys say perverted things to me. I had to learn early on that choosing to do things God's way doesn't automatically launch you into a world where you will be treated the way God intended. I want you to understand that you were created to bring God fame, whether people respect that or not. Your decision to be a disciple of Christ shouldn't take others into effect at all, only the call of a God who is unwavering, unchanging and unfailing.

Please don't choose to do the right thing because people are upset that Miley Cyrus chose the wrong thing, or because choosing the right thing will "bring the right guy." Do what is right because you want to become more like Jesus... to change the world, to shine your light, to see the power of God displayed before your eyes in a way you never thought imaginable. Please be less concerned about what a guy is looking for in a mate and more concerned about what Christ is looking for in His bride.

And lastly, and most importantly, please don't allow the idea of being a "Christian girl" take your attention away from knowing Christ. The story is about him... never about us. You were created for a specific reason, with amazing gifts and talents, and the ability to love the lonely, the hurting and the confused...whose sole purpose is to be Jesus to a generation who don't know Him. The world doesn't need another nice girl who wears skirts to her knee... they need a young woman of God who is unashamed to be synced with Jesus Christ in everything she does and with a voice of surrender to the One who created her in the 1st place.

Oh, and just for the record... that amazing girl will most likely be wearing skirts to her knee.
XOXOX
- Your Mom-

realistic DIYs

Things I have pinned in the last few months:

• How to make a beautiful housekeepers bucket to inspire me while cleaning.
• How to make a burlap mail/picture holder for the foyer.
• How to make my very own scented misters for outdoor parties during the summer.
• How to make my own lunchables for back-2-school and save lots of money.
• How to make my own personalized concrete bookend for my bookshelves.

Things I SHOULD have pinned in the last few months:

• How to thoroughly dispose of broken glass over your entire family room while you have 4 children running around.
• How to properly medicate a 3rd degree burn on your neck and chest area do to a scorching hot chili incident.
• How to keep a 1-year-old busy in a doctors office lobby for over an hour.
• How to remove chocolate hershey sauce from a microfiber couch.
• How to take a shower when your 4 children have taken you hostage and are threatening unsuccessful nap-times for the next week.

our treasures become trash.

Well, it's that time.

Time to rid ourselves of the baby stuff we no longer use.

It's bitter-sweet.

I can't wait to get it out of the house and out of my way, but each milk-stained item served our family well... for all 4 of our children. We are donating most of our stuff and trashing the things that are no longer safe for human touch.

Bub-bye baby stuff.

I want to cheer and cry at the same time.

it's not quite spring weather... but it's good enough for us!

This week may have been one of the most taxing weeks I have had in a long time.... it's at least in the top 5. I had to continually stop to remind myself that "with God, all things are possible," because there were moments when I felt extremely incapable. That being said, I haven't had much time this week to just hang out with the kids. My attention has been elsewhere and I realized how much they fill me with peace and joy... just by being them! After school today when they asked if we could all play together outside and I jumped at the opportunity... even if we all did end up a little muddy.

this has been a long week... and it's only monday.

It's funny.... kind-of.

My 1st grade son has a debit card at school that the kids use to get hot lunch. We decided at the beginning of the year that he could pick one hot lunch a week and would bring a packed lunch to school the other days. I just put $30 on his card right after the Christmas break. He only picked 2 hot lunches that he liked this last month ($2.70 each), so I knew he should have plenty still left on his card... still, my OCD wouldn't leave me alone until I checked the balance to make sure.

I was shocked to find that he only had a little money left.

I saw a link that I could click on that would show me an itemized list of what the card had been spent on.

Unbelievable.

Ice cream sandwiches. Twix Bars. Cookies. Ice Cream Push-Ups.

I had NO idea they even had a concession stand in the cafeteria, much less that the kids could choose to spent their debit card money on it.

Needless to say, Chris and I had a conversation with Mr. Money-Bag-Sweet-Tooth this weekend.

Then....

My daughter tells me that she used my ENTIRE personalized stationary to practice writing her name. She started crying when she saw my mortified look instead of anticipated pride. 

Thank you, Denise, for the wonderful stationary.

I had a hard time using it a lot because I loved it so much and would only save it for letters to the teacher, or special lists.... go figure.

"...but an encouraging word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:25

I had a really great talk with my sister recently about encouraging the younger generation. Ever since, I have been looking for opportunities to pour confidence and encouraging words into my little ones on a daily basis. The fact is, I have people encouraging me every day... building me up and pushing me forward. I desire to be that for the loved ones God has placed nearest and dearest to me. I love that Valentine's Day is coming up because I am finding lots of cute stuff to help me in my new endeavor! Here are some inspiring scriptures that are a great reminder:

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down,
but an encouraging words makes it glad."

Proverbs 12:25

 "And we urge you, brothers and sisters...encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else."

1 Thessalonians 5:14,15

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,
just as in fact you are doing."

1 Thessalonians 5:1

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Proverbs 17:17

What do you do to bring encouragement to your household?

*** Ironically, as I was typing this post, my husband just walked into the office and completely drowned me in encouragement. Seeing how much that built up my spirit after a very taxing day, gives me even more confidence that I need to be doing that very thing for my children. ***

Passing on wisdom to the next generation of moms... Session 2

I'm not sure how many of these sessions I will do. I will live in unending guilt if I am solely responsible for a lack of procreation due to my candidness.... but the truth must be told. Let me also add that if I know all of these truths and have still birthed, cared-for and loved 4 amazing children, then it's safe to say that I feel it's not only worth it, but I love every single second! Enough of that....here we go with session 2:

1. You will begin to prioritize your reactions to things. You will know which cries are serious and which ones are worth ignoring. You will hear a huge thud and freeze until you can evaluate the cry. You will also discover "cue words" that will make you sprint in sheer panic...words like "ewwwww," "uh-oh,"  "it's ok!" and "yuck!"
2. When it comes to fashion, you will most likely trade "trendy" for "clean"... "stylish" for "laundered".... and "chic" for "odorless." Don't stress about it...One day soon you will be able to wear an outfit out of the house that doesn't have a questionable substance on the shoulder and a purse that you can stick your hand into without touching an unidentified liquid.
3. Before kids, romance was ensued by fresh roses, expensive dinners-out and beautifully written cards. After kids, you will fall in love all over again just knowing that new Disney movie will keep your kids quiet and contained for at least enough time for you to wrap your arms around each other. (Warning: once you show any sort of physical displays of affection for each other in front of the kids, at least one of your children will feel the need to squeeze in the middle... and her name will most likely be Zoey.)
4. There will be certain phrases from common folk that will begin to drive you crazy. Expressions like "can't you just get a babysitter?"... "why can't you just bring the kids?" ... "do you have a sec?" ... or my personal favorite, "good morning!"  Don't react, just smile, bite your tongue and find the nearest Starbucks drive-thru.
5. You will find yourself saying the oddest phrases you've ever heard... things you thought you would never hear coming out of your mouth. "Stop fishing G.I. Joes out of the toilet with my ladel!"... "Why are you peeing on the front porch in 40 degree weather?" .... "Jesus will not be happy that you beat your brother with the fly-swatter."...It's true, your neighbors might think you are crazy, but truth be told, it's better if you just start owning your crazy now... trust me, it's inevitable.
6. Every once in awhile you will have something trigger a distant memory of a former life: a clean car smell, a hot cup of coffee, or 5-minutes of silence. DO NOT let your mind wander back to life before kids! It's the black hole of reminiscing and will only end with you or your spouse in the fetal position.

Passing on wisdom to the next generation of moms... Session 1

I have now been a mother for almost 7 years.

Now although that does not make me any sort-of expert, I do feel I can pass a few nuggets along to those who are just entering into motherhood naively. I feel it is my duty to pour my wisdom upon your beautiful pony-tailed heads. Here are some things I've discovered over the last couple years:

1. When feeding your baby bananas of any sort, be swift to wipe them up. Dried bananas are harder to clean up than glue, and the brown, slimy substance they turn into will make you want to vomit.
2. DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, allow your kids to use paint. You may be tempted by the amazing projects on pinterest, or the wonderful artwork your friends have displayed on their fridges, you may even convince yourself that it is "washable" and will be an easy clean... but mark my words, you will live in undeniable regret. No hand-print is worth that.
3. There are certain things your kids will eat that don't digest: corn, raisins, legos. Prepare yourself to see them again later in the week... also prepare yourself to never be able to eat them again yourself.
4. You will never be alone again... like never ever ever... ever. Go ahead, try to take a shower or go to the bathroom. The minute you step out of their sight, they will hunt you down like prey.... and if for some reason you can't be found in 32 seconds, they will shriek your name at the top of their lungs until you reappear. (Even while in bed you will find remnants of them.... G.I. Joes, band-aids, nasty little sock with no match.)
5. Anything you love... they will break. Anything you treasure... will be destroyed. Anything you have saved for years and years... will be shattered into pieces. Case in point: A beautiful vase brought home from Amsterdam from my parents mission trip as a special gift to me= crushed into smithereens. My most favorite mug that I have had since college= cracked and crumbled. My sanity and hope that tomorrow will be a better day= PULVERIZED.
6. You will never have a clean floor again for more than 23 minutes. Period.
7. When getting 4 kids ready in the morning, each kid will be missing something different: one kid will be missing socks. one kid will be missing shoes. one kid will be missing a coat, and one kid will just be missing. Learn to roll with the punches and just bring blankets in the car during the winter.
8. Things you will never again be able to live without (and if you have all these things with you, you could survive 25 days alone in the wilderness and people will forever refer to you as "MacGyver"): ziplock bags, wet wipes, nail clippers, ponytail holders, a pen and the newest issue of Family Fun.

So that's it for now.. and here is my disclaimer: I AM TOTALLY AND MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY CHILDREN and if I have to go insane to raise them right, I am willing to do so.... forever.

I don't love all my kids equally.

I went to a conference this weekend.

{GOD BLEW MY MIND... but I'll touch on that later this week... still processing.}

I heard something that I loved.

Lisa Bevere said "God doesn't love us all equally."

I was confused.

Then she qualified.

"God doesn't love us all equally. He loves us all uniquely. To state that God loves us equally means that His love for us can be measured."

Oh yeah... I thought it was great too.

It made me think of my kids.

I can definitely say that I love them all uniquely.

the latest.. and greatest.. and craziest... and laziest

At least once a week I hear the phrase, "It's only a season."

I hear it from friends, I hear it from family members,

I even hear it from strangers in the grocery store.

I had originally thought the phrase was used bearing in mind the noun usage, "a period of time marked by certain conditions" (ex: the Christmas season, or in my case, the your-house-will-never-stay-clean season, or you-will-never-sleep-through-the-night season)... but I've changed my mind and realized it's more properly used as the verb, "to mature, ripen, or condition by exposure to suitable conditions or treatment." (ex: to season with salt and pepper, or in my case, to season with whining, crying and screaming). Hopefully when this season is in the past, I will have emerged a wonderfully seasoned mother and wife

In any case, we are enjoying our summer season sprinkled with all sorts of adventures, challenges and discoveries. Here are few from the past few weeks:

It has been quite a summer for our sweet Elijah. We were in the ER 3 times in the past 2 months: once for a severe allergic reaction, once for pneumonia and once for having his arm out of socket (yes, it was me... I pulled him out of the way of a car and injured my son... major tears followed from both parties). He is doing fairly good right now, although currently we are nursing another allergic reaction that appeared after his nap (see sad picture below). This kid is such a trooper and his mother is learning a lot about trust through it all.

 Thanks to my moms on both sides, I had a rare day with just my older kids. You would have thought it was Christmas in July for me! I couldn't believe how much fun I had talking and laughing with Isaac and Zoey! We did things we never get to do with the babies, which made me keep a cheesy smile on my face all day long.... it was the most fun day I've had in a really long time.

 As of today, Isaac is officially a registered 1st grader in our new city. He gets to take the bus to and from school every morning and is very excited about meeting new friends. The kids on our block already told him how much they love the school! We headed out on the town today to pick up all his school supplies (one of our favorite days of the year). Isaac's theme was definitely STAR WARS and Zoey stuck to LaLaLoopsy for all her 4-yr-old Preschool needs. They have such cute stuff out there!

Jacob has also been hitting some more milestones. He currently says "mama" and "baba" and loves to laugh hysterically. He belly crawls all over the house and can even get up one stair.  He goes CrAzY in the pool and hates to get out and can even maneuver himself around by kicking his legs in the pool. This baby is growing fast and sometimes I find myself wanting to wake him up just to rock him back to sleep to slow down time.

All in all we are having a wonderful summer and God is so faithful to walk this journey with us. We are surrounded by incredible people of faith and purpose who are constantly bearing arms with us. We are blessed beyond measure.

Thankful Lips vs. Grateful Heart

I had no idea Chris took this picture at Isaac's party last night.

He was just about to open all his gifts, so I took the opportunity to have a "mom-talk" with him. It pretty much went like this: "say thank you after every gift, don't ask for more gifts, let all the other kids help you open them, etc" You know the drill. I didn't think twice about it until I saw the picture. I was then reminded of a parenting article I read last week. The title was "Thankful Lips vs. Grateful Heart" and it talked about teaching our kids how to be genuinely grateful, instead of just teaching them to mindlessly say "thank you" every time you give them the look. The article really made me think. I'm actually still thinking about it. So now the endeavor is to instill gratefulness in the heart of my little ones, and here are some articles that helped me with some ideas on how to do this.

Character Building: Block by Block

Teaching Your Kids Gratitude

The Preacher's Wife: A Lesson In Gratefulness

Character Journal No.3: Gratefulness

I am officially an experienced mom... my DR told me so.

Well, our little man Elijah is having a rough week. With a diagnosis of RSV, Pneumonia and Bronchiolitis all at the same time, this little guy is making his mother emotionally unstable. The doctor was leery about not sending him over to the hospital, but was confident that as "experienced" parents, we would know what to do if his breathing became more strained. Seriously? Experienced parents? Doesn't she know that I still constantly refer to myself as a rookie mom?

We had a rough hour at midnight last night. I was convinced Elijah couldn't breathe and was getting worked up. I even packed the bag for the hospital. Chris felt like we just needed to stay calm and see if we could calm him down as well. Chris was right. I was explaining to Chris last night that I have this "mom button" that gets pushed when one of my children are in distress. I try to stay calm. I try to act rational. I even try to act in faith and cast all my cares on the Lord, but it's like instinct takes over and I would do ANYTHING to make them better (sometimes in a panic state).

I don't know what it means to be an experienced mother.

One definition of experienced is "wise or skillful in a particular field."

I'm definitely not that one.

Another definition is "endured; undergone; suffered through."

That one is a lot closer.

Elijah is doing much better this morning, and actually slept most of the night. His meds seem to be working well and right now he is taking his walker all around the house with a smile on his face. 

This parent thing is hard!

And exhausting!

And totally worth it!